


Pink Spring

by tadojoon (namtae)



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Hanahaki Disease, How to Tag 101, M/M, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Hatred, how they fit inside one room idk but they can do it, i believe in them, it's nct ensemble actually bc all of them are with youngho, slight johnil, you've warned!, youngho is messed up o k
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-18
Updated: 2017-09-18
Packaged: 2018-12-31 02:34:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,408
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12122640
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/namtae/pseuds/tadojoon
Summary: Youngho is dreaming, a sweet voice calling him.Taeyong made him comeback, face worried.Youngho wakes up in another place, he didn't want to wake up.Taeyong has a truth to blurt out.(Alternate ending for Geranium, you can go read it over here -> archiveofourown(.)org/works/11708880 )





	Pink Spring

 

 

 

Cotton floating in sky, being dragged away by the spring wind.

 

Millions and millions of pink geranium petals joining the cotton that already drifted away, lost in the white and golden clouds.

 

The scent of grass kissed by the dew of the morning.

 

Wet palms, wet with  **_blood_ ** . No.

 

This isn't blood. Paint?... Juice?... What is this red, sticky substance?.

 

Youngho couldn't identify the substance, and he didn't want to leave the field until he recognized the weird liquid. But somehow he was floating up, like the cotton. His hands were cleaning themselves with the wind. He sobbed, trying to keep the liquid in his hands, trying to reach it. But as fast as it appeared, it disappeared. In an instant.

  
  


_ Not yet _

 

_ Wait a bit more _

 

_ You can do it _

 

**_Don't leave me_ **

  
  


And like that, his eyes fluttered, opening slowly, holding onto something that made him woke up.

  
  


Taeyong made him woke up.

 

Taeyong drifted him from death, but wasn't he with Taeil inside the bathroom?

  
  


Ah, he was at the hospital. The white walls and sickening sound of the beeping of the heart monitor. The smell of bleach was the ugliest, and he felt that he couldn't breath.

  
  


And he couldn't, a big cough wanting to escape from his already closed throat. His oxygen mask filling with withered petals.

 

“Youngho! Oh god, I need to get the nurse, wait a bit--” Taeyong panicked and tried to run out of the room but Youngho grabbed him by his arm. The hold was so soft but Taeyong stopped his movements, staring at the older with big, worried eyes. Youngho made a pose with his hands, like he was holding a phone, since he couldn't talk. Taeyong pulled out his phone, unlocking it and giving it to his hyung, choking a sob.

 

Both of them were looking terrible, Taeyong thinner since Youngho stayed for a week in an induced coma, yesterday was the last day of cleaning his lungs for the operation, that's what Youngho's parents wanted for him, both of them grabbing the first flight from Chicago to Seoul to be with their son.

 

But Youngho's situation was worse, he was skinniest than Sicheng, that said enough. His tan no longer a tan, with sickening white skin and big eye bags that were really close from his cheekbones, even if he ‘was sleeping’, Taeyong could feel the tiredness of the older by just looking at him.

 

**[I'm sorry]**

 

“You're sorry? For what, hyung?”  _ Youngho didn’t do anything at all, why the older had to apologize about something? _ , Taeyong thought, biting his lower lip. 

 

**[I'm sorry]**

 

_ You didn’t do anything… is because the hospital? You being sick? Please, stop saying that. _

 

**[Im so sorrwy-]**

  
  


Taeyong choked a pained groan and grabbed the shoulders of the older, squeezing them reassuringly.  _ Please stop. _ “Stop apologizing, Youngho! This is not your fault, the one who didn't love you back is on fault! That insensitive bastard-... I'm going to punch him, who is it!?”

  
  


**[Pff]**

 

**[You sure? Are you going to do it no matter what?]**

  
  


Youngho looked at him sadly, his eyes looked glassy but no tears streamed down his face this time. He was so tired. 

  
  


**[You're the insensitive bastard]**

 

**[Punch yourself, Taeyong]**

 

**[You are a man of your word]**

 

**[So do it]**

 

Youngho tried to laugh but more coughs made him squirm in pain, throwing away the phone. He grabbed his chest, trying to ease the pain, with his eyes almost popping out of his face. When the pain ceased, he was between Taeyong skinny but strong arms. He let out a confused and breathless gasp.

  
  
  


Taeyong was squeezing him. 

  
  
  


Taeyong felt so warm.

  
  
  


Ah. He could die happy now.

  
  
  


Youngho drifted away but something made him stay again. Taeyong.

  
  


Taeyong crying...loudly.

  
  


Taeyong asking for forgiveness.

  
  


Taeyong making his chest stop hurting him.

 

“I'm sorry Youngho!! How couldn't I notice!? I'm an idiot I'm sorry--  I love you too, I should go out and let all the members kick my ass! I'm so sorry---...” 

 

With trembling hands the older grabbed again the phone, typing fast, heart monitor beeping fast. His hands were sweaty and shaky, so it was really hard to type out the words he wanted Taeyong to read.  

 

**[#-4%-8isorruwhat]**

 

**[What r saying]**

 

**[Why what u love me  yoo]**

 

**[Too????]**

 

Youngho thought for a second, and he looked at Taeyong with hurt and disbelief.

 

**[You're not lying so i canbe still alive are u???? In don't want to be here f  I have to forget. I aleeady made my decision]**

 

“Don't say that you asshole, that's why you were so weird with me… And with Jaehyun too?.... The last weeks you were avoiding us, it was so painful and I didn't knew it was because of this...”

 

**[Avoiding?? I wanted you to be happy w yoonoh bc you looked rlly comfortable  whim]**

 

Taeyong smiled softly at Youngho's silliness and kindness. He was truly an angel. He breathed in and cuddled with the older male, closing his eyes. “Yoonoh  **_fell in love for Ten_ ** , I was just helping him with planning some confessions, to get Ten jealous too… it was working, they have a private chat now and they're planning to date one of these days, when we have some free time, since we’re still active, not like him.”

 

The leader continued, caressing Youngho’s left arm, trying not to touch the vial attached with a tiny piece of medical tape. 

  
  


They stayed like that for a few minutes until Youngho returned the phone to his owner, punching him softly on the arm in the process. He smiled, even if the oxygen mask was filled with withered petals, Youngho still smiled, feeling slumber, even if he ‘slept’ for so long, a big boulder fell off from his shoulders, something inside him knew that if he let his body rest, he'll feel better.

  
  


With a little bit of regret, he ignored Taeyong’s pleadings, about keeping himself awake.

  
  
  
  
  


Next time he woke up, Taeyong was still there by his side. The differences were three. First of all, there were other voices, than just the light breathing of the leader. Familiar voices, all soft, scared of waking up the third oldest member from their group, all of them allowed inside the room since he felt better. That's the second one, he felt really good, he could breath on his own, without the oxygen mask. And third, Taeyong looked like he rested and ate properly, with a steady pink as tone for his whole face, not a sickly pale colour. His hair was fading pink tho, he didn't dyed it again yet. 

  
  


“Look, he’s awake!”

“Donghyuck-ah, it’s your fault, you’re screaming.”

 

“No! It’s Chenle’s fault!”

 

“I didn’t got to say something yet, I just came from the dorm!!”

 

“Yah, you’re all loud, please get out and wait for your turn to speak with Johnny-hyung!”

 

“You’re the loudest, Doyoung, so shut your mouth”

 

All of them laughed at that, with Doyoung getting all red, mumbling bad words against his bandmates. 

 

Youngho made a weird sound, and all of them stopped their laughs, staring at the unfit man. He was crying, his face red like Doyoung’s, with his bottom lip trembling wildly. “W--...hat are all of you doing here? --.... You should be taking care of ourselves, not me--... go and get something to eat-... have fun---... go and live, idiots--...”

 

“Are you going to start with that again?” Taeyong grunted, pinching the older on one of his cheeks. “We’re not going anywhere, Youngho. We’re going to stay with you, doesn’t matter if you like it or not.” 

 

Youngho tried to stop his hiccups, ugly crying on point. It looked like he was suffering, but in fact, he was really happy. 

  
  
  


The members loved him. They stayed with him for weeks.

 

The NCTzen loved him, the room filled with lovely gifts and flowers. 

 

But mostly, Taeyong loved him. He waited years, suffered a lot for that realization to come up and knock his door. The foolishness of his own mind betraying him. Taeyong loved him, alot. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


On the other hand, Taeil was realizing that  _ maybe _ , and just maybe… He had a crush on Youngho. Because even that he was happy of Youngho’s recovery, he felt something stuck on his throat, watching at Taeyong and Youngho hugging each other, knowing that all the hardships that Youngho underwent, were Taeyong's fault.

  
  


**_It was all his fault_ **

**Author's Note:**

> I should maybe do a chaptered thing for this, more ideas pop out of my brain lmao I can't keep doing alternate endings for Geranium!
> 
> I love to hear your thoughts over this, and remember, English is not my native language so please tell me if I wrote something wrong :( <3 Love you lots, love and support NCT & JohnYong, it's a really good pairing!


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